7 Journals for Creativity, Gratitude, and Better Sex according to Goop
The best journal for you is the one you’ll actually use—whether that’s one that functions more like a traditional planner or one that’s simply pretty to look at.
01 QUICK HIT
In the first pages of The Five-Minute Journal, an inscription insists it’s not a magic pill. Whatever dreams, intentions, and aspirations you write here, it says, you will still have to execute them in real life. But this journal is a guide on how to do precisely that—and it’s a little magic we’re happy to practice for five minutes at a time. Every day (or every day you feel like it, no pressure), you fill in your answers to three simple questions in the morning and two easy reflections at night. Each one encourages intention, gratitude, and perspective. And they all make the idea of living a little better feel totally within reach.
02 BLANK SPACE
When guided journaling exercises aren’t the vibe, a simple notebook is a refreshing blank slate. This one from AllSwell is designed for flexibility. If you open it from the cover that says “WRITE,” you get lined pages for neat and tidy notes, lists, and diary entries. Flip it over to its second cover, “DRAW,” and you’ll open it up to blank pages perfect for doodles.
There are no prompts or practices in the notebook, so if you find yourself seeking some creative inspiration, it’s worth picking up AllSwell’s deck of journaling cards, which cue gratitude lists, letter-writing, and sketches of cherished memories (like a favorite tree from your childhood). Shuffle, pick, and let your pen go at it.
03 SPICED UP
This journal is a resource not just for better sex but also for cultivating intimacy, silliness, and honesty in a partnered relationship. It’s designed to be picked up right after play. The journal guides you through a set of prompts that you respond to individually, filling in statements like “I feel ___,” and “I felt most turned on when ____,” and then questions to answer together: What are we learning? What do we want and need? After every four entries, there’s a page for reflections on how you’ve grown as a couple and what you’ve felt grateful for since the last check-in. It even includes a guide on how to constructively communicate desires with your partner as well as where to begin if filling out the journal ever feels awkward.
04 SIMPLE PLAN
While the basic structure of this little booklet is that of a monthly and weekly planner, working through the pages means getting really clear about what you want and how you want to pursue it. The diary asks you to break down your specific goals into actionable steps and also prompts you to reflect: on what’s behind your intentions, on what support you need, and on how your goals fulfill your core purpose. That may all make it sound very career-focused—and yes, it’s great for that—but it’s also just as invaluable a tool for our relationships, intellectual growth, and spiritual development.
05 ATTITUDE OF GRATITUDE
The concept of this journal is simple: It’s a place to jot down what you’re grateful for. That’s it. No guides, no prompts, no activities. Just the simple inscription on the cover as a reminder to count your blessings daily. It looks pretty on a nightstand (we like to make entries right before sleep) and is a great gift. And because our planet is one thing we can all be grateful for: This journal is fully recyclable.
06 JOY RIDE
Filling out the prompts in this one-page-a-day journal feels like scribbling in the personal diary you kept as a kid. Every page has a brief, totally joy-inducing activity, like thinking about how your love brings your loved ones happiness or feeling out a memory you could live in forever. Then it asks you to respond in a few short lines with what came up for you. We’ve found that it’s an easy way to lift our hearts in a moment. And even after you’ve filled out every page, this journal’s great for revisiting. Just cover up your previous notes with your fingers to go over your favorite pages again and again.
07 FOOD FOR THOUGHT
If you’re on a mission to listen to your body more, this food journal is a great first step. We like it because there are no prescriptions of what or when or how to eat, just space to very simply note how you’re feeling, how you slept, and what you ate and drank throughout the day. And it may help you develop healthier routines: Research shows that self-monitoring without deliberately changing anything is effective in changing our eating habits for the better.
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Why do we procrastinate?
Learn about the complex behavior of procrastination and its impact on mental and physical health. Discover how emotions, coping mechanisms, and the tendency to prioritize short-term needs contribute to this common phenomenon. Find effective strategies to address the root causes and manage procrastination for improved productivity and well-being.
Procrastination isn’t about laziness. Etymologically, “procrastination” is derived from the Latin verb procrastinare — to put off until tomorrow. But it’s more than just voluntarily delaying. Procrastination is also derived from the ancient Greek word akrasia — doing something against our better judgment.
What if we perceive procrastination as self harm? That self-awareness is a key part of why procrastinating makes us feel so rotten. When we procrastinate, we’re not only aware that we’re avoiding the task in question, but also that doing so is probably a bad idea. And yet, we do it anyway. This is why procrastination is essentially irrational; it doesn’t make sense to do something you know is going to have negative consequences.
People engage in this irrational cycle of chronic procrastination because of an inability to manage negative moods around a task. So procrastination occurs because of a bad mood? YES.
Procrastination isn’t a unique character flaw or a mysterious curse on your ability to manage time, but a way of coping with challenging emotions and negative moods induced by certain tasks — boredom, anxiety, insecurity, frustration, resentment, self-doubt and beyond. Therefore, procrastination can be viewed as an emotion regulation problem, not a time management problem.
The particular nature of our aversion depends on the given task or situation. It may be due to something inherently unpleasant about the task itself — having to clean a dirty bathroom or organizing a long, boring spreadsheet for your boss. But it might also result from deeper feelings related to the task, such as self-doubt, low self-esteem, anxiety or insecurity. Staring at a blank document, you might be thinking, I’m not smart enough to write this. Even if I am, what will people think of it? Writing is so hard. What if I do a bad job?
But, of course, this only compounds the negative associations we have with the task, and those feelings will still be there whenever we come back to it, along with increased stress and anxiety, feelings of low self-esteem and self blame.
In fact, there’s an entire body of research dedicated to the ruminative, self-blaming thoughts many of us tend to have in the wake of procrastination, which are known as “procrastinatory cognitions.” The thoughts we have about procrastination typically exacerbate our distress and stress, which contribute to further procrastination.
But the momentary relief we feel when procrastinating is actually what makes the cycle especially vicious. In the immediate present, putting off a task provides relief. And we know from basic behaviorism that when we’re rewarded for something, we tend to do it again. This is precisely why procrastination tends not to be a one-off behavior, but a cycle, one that easily becomes a chronic habit.
Over time, chronic procrastination has not only productivity costs, but measurably destructive effects on our mental and physical health, including chronic stress, general psychological distress and low life satisfaction, symptoms of depression and anxiety, poor health behaviors, chronic illness and even hypertension and cardiovascular disease.
If it seems ironic that we procrastinate to avoid negative feelings, but end up feeling even worse, that’s because it is. And once again, we have evolution to thank.
Procrastination is a perfect example of present bias, our hard-wired tendency to prioritize short-term needs ahead of long-term ones.
In some interesting research, it’s been found that we perceive our “future selves” more like strangers than as parts of ourselves. When we procrastinate, parts of our brains actually think that the tasks we’re putting off — and the accompanying negative feelings that await us on the other side — are somebody else’s problem.
To make things worse, we’re even less able to make thoughtful, future-oriented decisions in the midst of stress. When faced with a task that makes us feel anxious or insecure, the amygdala — the “threat detector” part of the brain — perceives that task as a genuine threat, in this case to our self-esteem or well-being. Even if we intellectually recognize that putting off the task will create more stress for ourselves in the future, our brains are still wired to be more concerned with removing the threat in the present. Researchers call this “amygdala hijack.”
Unfortunately, we can’t just tell ourselves to stop procrastinating. And despite the prevalence of “productivity hacks,” focusing on the question of how to get more work done doesn’t address the root cause of procrastination.
O.K. How do we get to the root cause of procrastination?
We must realize that, at its core, procrastination is about emotions, not productivity. The solution doesn’t involve downloading a time management app or learning new strategies for self-control. It has to do with managing our emotions in a new way.
Our brains are always looking for relative rewards. If we have a habit loop around procrastination but we haven’t found a better reward, our brain is just going to keep doing it over and over until we give it something better to do.
To rewire any habit, we have to give our brains the “Bigger Better Offer” or “B.B.O.” In the case of procrastination, we have to find a better reward than avoidance — one that can relieve our challenging feelings in the present moment without causing harm to our future selves. The difficulty with breaking the addiction to procrastination in particular is that there is an infinite number of potential substitute actions that would still be forms of procrastination. That’s why the solution must therefore be internal, and not dependent on anything but ourselves.
One option is to forgive yourself in the moments you procrastinate. In a 2010 study, researchers found that students who were able to forgive themselves for procrastinating when studying for a first exam ended up procrastinating less when studying for their next exam. They concluded that self-forgiveness supported productivity by allowing “the individual to move past their maladaptive behavior and focus on the upcoming examination without the burden of past acts.”
Another tactic is the related practice of self-compassion, which is treating ourselves with kindness and understanding in the face of our mistakes and failures. In some studies examining the relationship between stress, self-compassion and procrastination, it was found that procrastinators tend to have high stress and low self-compassion, suggesting that self-compassion provides a buffer against negative reactions to self-relevant events.
In fact, several studies show that self-compassion supports motivation and personal growth. Not only does it decrease psychological distress, which we now know is a primary culprit for procrastination, it also actively boosts motivation, enhances feelings of self-worth and fosters positive emotions like optimism, wisdom, curiosity and personal initiative. Best of all, self-compassion doesn’t require anything external — just a commitment to meeting your challenges with greater acceptance and kindness rather than rumination and regret.
That may be easier said than done, but try to reframe the task by considering a positive aspect of it. Perhaps you remind yourself of a time you did something similar and it turned out O.K. Or maybe you think about the beneficial outcome of completing the task. What might your boss or partner say when you show them your finished work? How will you feel about yourself? These positive thoughts can help motivate you to take action and get started on the task at hand. Additionally, practicing self-compassion can also help decrease perfectionism, which is often a contributing factor to procrastination.
Self-compassion is not just about making ourselves feel better in the moment, it also promotes long-term growth and success. By treating ourselves with kindness and understanding, we can break free from the cycle of procrastination and instead cultivate a mindset of self-improvement. This allows for mistakes to be seen as learning opportunities rather than failures, and encourages us to take action towards our goals regardless of potential obstacles.
In today's fast-paced world, it can be all too easy to get caught up in the constant quest for productivity and success. However, it is important to remember that self-compassion is not a sign of weakness or laziness, but rather a crucial component in achieving overall well-being and success. So next time you find yourself procrastinating on a task, try practicing self-compassion and see how it can help shift your mindset and lead you towards greater progress and fulfillment. Remember, being kind to yourself is not a luxury, but a necessity for personal growth and success. So go ahead, give yourself some compassion and tackle that task with confidence and self-love. You'll be amazed at the positive impact it can have on your productivity and overall outlook on life.
So what is self worth, anyway?
Understanding and cultivating self worth is crucial for our mental health and overall well-being. In a world that often compares us to societal standards, self worth is about recognizing our inherent value, irrespective of achievements or failures. This article explores the meaning of self worth, differentiates it from self-esteem and confidence, and offers practical ways to boost self worth. It emphasizes the importance of self-reflection, setting boundaries, challenging negative beliefs, practicing self-care, and surrounding ourselves with positive influences. Cultivating self worth leads to improved mental and emotional health, better decision-making, healthier relationships, and the achievement of personal goals. Investing in self worth is a valuable commitment that can enhance personal development and fulfillment.
Understanding your self worth is super important for our mental health and overall well-being. But you know what? It can be a bit tricky for many of us. We live in a world that's always comparing us to societal standards and success metrics. But here's the thing: self worth is personal, intrinsic, and honestly, way more crucial.
So, let's dive in and figure out what self worth really means. We'll also talk about how it's different from self-esteem and confidence, and why it's so darn important. Plus, we'll explore some practical ways to boost your self worth and the amazing positive impact it can have on your life. Ready? Let's go!
Self worth is all about recognizing and embracing your own value as a person. It's not about wealth, success, or beauty - it's something that comes from within. Taking the time to acknowledge and honor our self worth is crucial for personal growth and overall well-being.
Understanding Self Worth
Differentiating Self Worth
Self worth, self-esteem, and confidence are interlinked, yet distinct. While self-esteem refers to how much we value ourselves, and confidence is about our level of trust in our abilities, self worth is about recognizing our inherent value, irrespective of our achievements or failures.
Factors Influencing Self Worth
Our upbringing, societal pressures, and personal experiences shape our self worth. Positive reinforcements during childhood foster a strong sense of self, while criticism can undermine it. As adults, societal expectations can further impact how we perceive our worth.
Signs of Low Self Worth
Low self worth manifests in various ways, including excessive self-criticism, a tendency to overlook personal needs, and a persistent feeling of inadequacy.
Cultivating Self Worth
Self-Reflection and Self-Awareness
Engaging in self-reflection can deepen self-awareness and highlight areas where we undervalue ourselves. This can help us challenge negative beliefs and cultivate a positive self-perception.
Setting Boundaries
Establishing personal boundaries is essential for maintaining healthy relationships and promoting a sense of self-respect. It involves communicating our needs and limitations to others, and respecting ourselves enough to enforce them.
Challenging Negative Beliefs
Identify and transform negative self-perceptions by questioning their validity and focusing on positive attributes.
Setting Boundaries and Practicing Self-Care
Setting healthy boundaries and practicing self-care are acts of respect that reinforce self worth. It's important to prioritize personal needs and not feel guilty for doing so.
Surrounding Ourselves with Positive Influences
The people we surround ourselves with can either validate or undermine our self worth. It's crucial to cultivate relationships that nurture and support our growth.
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Self worth is an ongoing process of recognizing, cultivating, and honoring our intrinsic value. Sometimes, building self worth requires support from loved ones or professionals who can provide perspective and guidance. Pursuing passions and honing skills can provide a sense of accomplishment that bolsters self worth. With a strong sense of self worth comes improved mental and emotional health, which in turn leads to better decision-making, healthier relationships, and achievement of personal goals.
Investing in your sense of self worth is one of the most valuable commitments you can make. Everyone has inherent worth, and recognizing this can be the first step on a journey to enhanced personal development and fulfillment.
With insights from Dr. Kristin Neff on self-compassion, Brene Brown's teachings on vulnerability, along with resources from Mental Health America and APA, readers are equipped to foster a healthier sense of self worth. Apps like Headspace and Calm or books like "The Gifts of Imperfection" can serve as practical tools in this quest.
Overcoming the Fear of Conflict: Embrace the Power Within!
Overcoming the Fear of Conflict: Embrace the Power Within! This blog post explores the fear of conflict, the importance of addressing it, and strategies for overcoming it. Embracing conflict leads to personal growth, enhanced team dynamics, and positive change. Let's unleash our inner warrior and turn conflict into an opportunity for growth and self-mastery.
In both personal and professional realms, conflict is as inevitable as change itself. Yet, the mere thought of engaging in conflict sends shivers down the spines of many. But fear not, for this blog post dives deep into the heart of conflict, uncovering the fears it stirs and the incredible growth it promises for those brave enough to overcome them.
Understanding the Fear of Conflict: Unleashing Our True Potential
At its root, the fear of conflict stems from our innate desire for safety, belonging, and esteem. Psychological and emotional barriers, like the fear of rejection or damage to one's self-image, often hold people back from addressing conflicts head-on.
The Importance of Addressing Conflict: Igniting Positive Change
However, sweeping conflicts under the rug can lead to resentment and a toxic environment. On the flip side, embracing conflict can clear misunderstandings, foster trust, and lead to innovative solutions. It's a stepping stone for personal development and enhanced team dynamics.
Strategies for Overcoming the Fear of Conflict: Unleash Your Inner Warrior
To overcome the fear of conflict, we must first recognize and acknowledge it. By approaching conflicts with a growth mindset and viewing them as opportunities for growth, we can begin to dismantle our fears. It's also essential to communicate openly, actively listen, and empathize with others.
Embracing Conflict: A Journey Towards Self-Mastery
Embracing conflict is not easy, and it requires courage, vulnerability, and a willingness to learn. But by doing so, we take the first step towards self-mastery and unleash our true potential. We become more resilient, adaptable, and confident in our abilities to navigate challenging situations.
In conclusion, conflict should not be feared but embraced as a powerful catalyst for personal and professional growth. It takes courage, vulnerability, and a growth mindset to overcome the fear of conflict, but the rewards are immeasurable. By embracing conflict, we can unleash our true potential and ignite positive change in ourselves and those around us. So let us embrace conflict with an open mind and heart, knowing that it is essential for our personal development and the betterment of our relationships and teams. Let us unleash our inner warrior and embrace conflict as a stepping stone towards self-mastery. The journey may be challenging, but the destination is worth it. So let us not shy away from conflict, but instead, let us face it with courage and use it to fuel our growth and ignite positive change in ourselves and others.
Catastrophizing?!
Catastrophizing is a cognitive distortion that amplifies fears and predicts doom. It can cause increased anxiety, stress, and depression, while also undermining decision-making. Factors such as negative thinking patterns, past experiences, and sensitivity to stress contribute to this mindset. Recognizing and addressing catastrophizing involves mindfulness techniques and cognitive behavioral therapy. Overcoming it requires challenging irrational thoughts and developing a balanced perspective. Seeking professional help and support is beneficial. By understanding and managing catastrophizing, mental resilience and clarity can be achieved.
In the intricate maze of the human mind, catastrophizing looms like a formidable Minotaur: a cognitive beast that blows fears out of proportion and predicts doom in vivid detail. Dealing with this mental monster is a challenge for many, yet understanding and taming it are crucial for our well-being and rational thinking.
Unraveling Catastrophizing
Catastrophizing is a cognitive distortion that streaks through our thought patterns, leaving behind a trail of exaggerated misfortune and despair. It's like a mental habit where we expect, often irrationally, that a situation will turn out in the worst possible way.
Research by the American Psychological Association has underscored the prevalence of catastrophizing in individuals with chronic pain and its profound impact on their mental health. The anticipation of unrelenting pain fuels a cycle of anxiety and depression, as seen in a study published in the Journal of Abnormal Psychology.
Impact on mental health includes:
Increased anxiety and stress levels
Higher risk for depression
Feelings of helplessness
Catastrophizing also undermines decision-making, with individuals often feeling paralyzed or overwhelmed when faced with problem-solving, even in non-critical situations.
Causes of Catastrophizing:
Various factors come into play when developing a catastrophizing mindset. Let's take a look at them:
Cognitive factors involve:
Negative thinking patterns that develop over time
The influence of past experiences and traumas
Emotional factors are tied to:
Being extra sensitive to stress and anxiety
Having a pessimistic outlook on personal capabilities and future events
Environmental factors may include:
Dealing with stressful life circumstances
Learning from peers or caregivers who exhibit similar thought patterns
Remember, these factors play a role in cultivating a catastrophizing mindset.
Recognizing Catastrophizing
Spotting the signs and symptoms of catastrophizing is the first step towards dealing with it. Symptoms often show up as persistent negative thoughts that escalate quickly and can cause a lot of distress.
Mindfulness techniques to boost self-awareness include:
Regular meditation practices
Keeping a journal to track thought patterns
Trying out reflective practices like reading or going for walks
Overcoming Catastrophizing
Getting over catastrophizing involves rewiring the cognitive pathways that lead to exaggerated negativity. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), backed by numerous studies proving its effectiveness, serves as a great way to challenge and reframe irrational thoughts into more realistic thinking patterns.
Strategies to develop realistic thinking patterns include:
Identifying and questioning irrational beliefs
Focusing on finding solutions
Adopting a balanced perspective on life's challenges and uncertainties
Mindfulness-based interventions, as discussed in a study in the Journal of Pain, have shown promise in reducing catastrophizing, especially in chronic pain patients. These interventions aim to cultivate awareness of the present moment and accepting thoughts and feelings without judgment.
Seeking professional help:
Psychologists or therapists can provide personalized CBT sessions
Support groups offer a sense of community and shared strategies
Catastrophizing is not a life sentence; it's a cognitive pattern that can be challenged and changed. Reflecting on ourselves, being aware, and seeking professional guidance can help us overhaul exaggerated negative thinking. Remember, our minds are adaptable and can overcome cognitive challenges.
3 Takeaways to Remember
Catastrophizing is a common cognitive distortion that can be managed.
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and mindfulness interventions can significantly reduce catastrophizing thoughts.
Taking proactive steps and seeking professional support can improve mental health and well-being.
Catastrophizing doesn't have to cast a shadow over your life. Whether you're a mental health advocate, a psychology student, or a mindfulness practitioner, embracing the journey of understanding and overcoming catastrophizing can lead to mental resilience and clarity.